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Your boss is
the problem. Killing him at the office water cooler will not help. So, bolster
your courage and talk to him face to face.
Here are
some guidelines:
1 Plan a
strategy of what you are going to say. Make a list of the things that
trouble you.
2 Communicate
your issues clearly and professionally with evidence. Be specific. For
example, if your boss dumps too much work on you, back them up with the number
of tasks assigned to you, the time given to complete them and so on.
3 Never
cite other persons who feel the same way. If they have complaints, let them
bring it up themselves.
4 Be
polite and cordial. Don’t charge into your boss’s office with guns blazing.
Never criticise or blame him. Avoid angry and antagonistic accusations. You
seek a reconciliation of differences, so cast your issues in a positive way.
5 Practise
keeping cool and speaking calmly. Put things across as though it may be
your fault or error. Say something along these lines:
·“I feel I’m
just not able to make the mark with you, as you never seem satisfied with my
work.”
·“I thought
I should try to talk to you to find out what I’m doing wrong and whether you
can give me some help as to what you need, are looking for ...”
·“I feel
somehow I may have made you angry about something, and I would really like to
clear it up …”
·“I know we
haven’t been getting on. But I do want us to, so I thought we could talk about
it …”
A word of
caution
You may feel
it is impossible to talk to your boss — that’s why he’s a bad boss. If so,
don’t talk to anyone else either. You need not defend your boss, but you cannot
be a stake driver — those who drive stakes into him.
If you must
rant and rave, do so to your partner or teddy bear. Don’t forget also that the
Office Snoop is always willing to share good news such as your bad opinion of
your boss, who will soon hear of it.
And if all
fails, fleeing is always an option!
Bad bosses
can make your life a living misery. So don’t just sit there and whine. If a
transfer or promotion is unavailable, search for a new job. Live with it or
take active measures to change something — either your situation or your boss.
Change
yourself
Changing
yourself and your mindset is good. That is a positive action. You could work on
developing a second skin when it comes to your boss. Do so by creating a
vacuum, a psychological and emotional space or a mental boss-free zone where he
can’t get in and get at you.
Make sure
you have a happy and full life after work. Throw yourself into activities you
enjoy so you do not have to obsess about him. Take up a physical sport, such as
boxing.
Change your
boss
If you want
to change your job, put out feelers immediately for happier pastures elsewhere.
Don’t just accept a bad boss and waste what could be really happy and
fulfilling years of working life.
Give
yourself a chance to let a good boss bring out the best in you rather than the
worst. Bad bosses can wear you out and affect your mental and physical health.
As
management guru Peter Drucker pointed out 60 years ago: “Recognise that your
success lies in how effectively you learn to manage your boss. Focus on
creating win-win scenarios by playing to their preferences, their strengths and
talents. Unless they are engaging in illegal or immoral activities, buttress
them where they are weak and seek to help them be successful.”
Someone once
said: “You can’t usually change your boss’s behaviour. You can only change
yours to deal with what’s there. You manage your boss by managing yourself. You
are not responsible for how your boss acts; you can only control yourself.” –
Singapore Straits Times/Asia New Network
Article by
Dr Arlene Bastion. She teaches and writes in the field of education and
professional business communication. Extracted from Star Classifieds.
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