DIFFICULT BOSSES PART 2: WHEN YOUR BOSS IS THE PROBLEM

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Your boss is the problem. Killing him at the office water cooler will not help. So, bolster your courage and talk to him face to face.

Here are some guidelines:

1 Plan a strategy of what you are going to say. Make a list of the things that trouble you.

2 Communicate your issues clearly and professionally with evidence. Be specific. For example, if your boss dumps too much work on you, back them up with the number of tasks assigned to you, the time given to complete them and so on.

3 Never cite other persons who feel the same way. If they have complaints, let them bring it up themselves.

4 Be polite and cordial. Don’t charge into your boss’s office with guns blazing. Never criticise or blame him. Avoid angry and antagonistic accusations. You seek a reconciliation of differences, so cast your issues in a positive way.

5 Practise keeping cool and speaking calmly. Put things across as though it may be your fault or error. Say something along these lines:

·“I feel I’m just not able to make the mark with you, as you never seem satisfied with my work.”

·“I thought I should try to talk to you to find out what I’m doing wrong and whether you can give me some help as to what you need, are looking for ...”

·“I feel somehow I may have made you angry about something, and I would really like to clear it up …”

·“I know we haven’t been getting on. But I do want us to, so I thought we could talk about it …”

A word of caution

You may feel it is impossible to talk to your boss — that’s why he’s a bad boss. If so, don’t talk to anyone else either. You need not defend your boss, but you cannot be a stake driver — those who drive stakes into him.

If you must rant and rave, do so to your partner or teddy bear. Don’t forget also that the Office Snoop is always willing to share good news such as your bad opinion of your boss, who will soon hear of it.

And if all fails, fleeing is always an option!

Bad bosses can make your life a living misery. So don’t just sit there and whine. If a transfer or promotion is unavailable, search for a new job. Live with it or take active measures to change something — either your situation or your boss.

Change yourself

Changing yourself and your mindset is good. That is a positive action. You could work on developing a second skin when it comes to your boss. Do so by creating a vacuum, a psychological and emotional space or a mental boss-free zone where he can’t get in and get at you.

Make sure you have a happy and full life after work. Throw yourself into activities you enjoy so you do not have to obsess about him. Take up a physical sport, such as boxing.

Change your boss

If you want to change your job, put out feelers immediately for happier pastures elsewhere. Don’t just accept a bad boss and waste what could be really happy and fulfilling years of working life.

Give yourself a chance to let a good boss bring out the best in you rather than the worst. Bad bosses can wear you out and affect your mental and physical health.

As management guru Peter Drucker pointed out 60 years ago: “Recognise that your success lies in how effectively you learn to manage your boss. Focus on creating win-win scenarios by playing to their preferences, their strengths and talents. Unless they are engaging in illegal or immoral activities, buttress them where they are weak and seek to help them be successful.”

Someone once said: “You can’t usually change your boss’s behaviour. You can only change yours to deal with what’s there. You manage your boss by managing yourself. You are not responsible for how your boss acts; you can only control yourself.” – Singapore Straits Times/Asia New Network

Article by Dr Arlene Bastion. She teaches and writes in the field of education and professional business communication. Extracted from Star Classifieds.

DIFFICULT BOSSES PART 1: ARE YOU THE PROBLEM?

Two kinds of bosses exist: one from heaven, the other from hell. The former are cause for happiness in the workplace. Many people won’t be lured elsewhere even for plenty of cash because they love working with their boss. It’s the ones from hell that workers are worried about.

Some bosses are just inexperienced, living in another time zone or are always on the golf course. Some may just be clueless about how to lead and manage others.

But, are they really bad bosses?

Some characteristics they may exhibit include treating staff unfairly and misusing power. They may also play favourites, covering up for their favourites’ poor work to the detriment of others.

They may be intimidating and even abusive. They may even be functionally incompetent, and they may be continually nitpicking, fault-finding, lack integrity, break promises or are dishonest. The list is endless.

Besides feeling sorry for yourself, you can:

1 Give him a chance

Try to get along with your boss. Bad or not, he’s the most important person in your working life. You report to him, and he is the person who supervises your work, determines the quality of your future and whether or not you have one.

Bosses also have issues and problems. You’re in a pressure cooker of work and so is he. Is there a way you may be of support to him and work with him, rather than against him?

2 Look at yourself

Step away from your prejudices and see things from his point of view. Question whether you aggravate your boss and whether your attitude, performance or manner brings out the worst in him. Bosses from hell are sometimes created by employees from hell.

Here are some examples:

- Lateness. Lateness implies unprofessionalism, unreliability and bad attitude. Everyone has late days once in a while, but those who have to watch out are those whose late days are from Monday to Friday.

- Lack of initiative. Bosses dislike staff who need their hands held every step of the way. They pester the boss with silly questions about the details they just received and misconstrue directions and instructions.

Sooner or later, the boss starts to think, “If I need to tell this person what to do and how to do it, I may as well do it myself. In which case, why am I paying him?”

- Wrong information. Bosses hate it when they are given inaccurate information, especially when they convey it to others. They look silly, as if it was their fault when it’s yours. They hate having to point out wrong figures, outdated statistics, inaccurate, inadequate information.

All these are strong signals of sloppiness and incompetence. Continued sending of these signals will signal a departure — yours.

- Bad attitude. Bosses do not like working with those who have absolutely no passion and interest in their work, who are not motivated, who cannot be bothered or who just cannot care less.

This is evident in shoddy work, laziness, missed deadlines and surliness when given a task.

If you are guilty of any or all of the above traits, then you are the problem, not your boss. You have to shape up or ship out.

But if you are a good worker and your boss’s behaviour is demoralising you, you have to take the next step. – Singapore Straits Times/Asia New Network

Article by Dr Arlene Bastion, who teaches and writes in the field of education, and professional business communication. These excerpts are from her latest book, The Book Of Jobs. Article extracted from Star Classifieds.